Self Care

I am relearning to take care of myself, to like myself whether some other individual likes me or not.  Getting beat up often and over and over again can take its toll.  It took its toll.  But in the basic nature of "flight or fight," I lean most firmly toward the fight.  So, I'm fighting back -- reclaiming me.  It is a process.  It is two steps forward, and sometimes one giant step back.  But it is.  Trauma and attachment issues take their toll.  Now I'm taking mine.

I think anyone reading this, should also read Christine Moers' blogpost HERE.

I also think anyone reading this should investigate tapping and EFT (emotional freedom therapy).  Don't knock it till you've researched it and given it a try.  Here's a video to give you a an idea of what I've been doing the past few mornings:

Then, after you've learned a little bit about what tapping is, try this video to start out.  It's done especially for care-givers.

Let me know what YOU think - but don't knock what helps someone else.

Ministry, Dirt & Bubble Baths

Be careful what you tell God.  Don’t pray, “Okay, LORD, whatever you want me to do, I’m ready” unless you really mean it.  You could end up with a couple of extra kids.  Some of them might have some significant challenges they’ll need you to help them overcome, or at least learn to navigate.  You could end up in a job you never dreamed you’d have because you never even knew that job existed.  You could be working with people and helping hurting people.  You could get dirty. 

Have you ever played in the dirt?

Dirt is where things grow.  Playing in the dirt is good for the soul – good for the emotions.  Planting something, watering it, and watching it grow gives one a sense of satisfaction like no other.  Even making mud pies can be quite therapeutic in its dirtiness.  They return to themselves.  Feeling the warm sun on your back, or even turning your face up into it and soaking in those vitamin D rays for a few seconds feels good. 

Getting dirty can be pretty cool.  There’s always that nice warm bubble bath or shower waiting when we’re done.  And THAT always feels especially nice when we’ve played HARD in the dirt.

What are you doing to minister to the heart of your hurt kid?  Would you be willing to share an idea or two here?  Are you a little bit too caught up in the dirt right now – maybe even a little muddy and mucky?  It’s okay to share that here, too.  We trauma mamas love the privilege of drawing nice, warm bubble bath water for our sisters.

I Weigh Less Than My Driver’s License Says I Do

When things are really hard for our kids, it’s often difficult for trauma mamas to remember to take care of themselves.  My kids’ therapist reminds me often that even when you travel in an airplane, they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before attempting to help anyone else.  The thing is, when we forget to do just that, the hard times get a lot harder.  Lack of sleep, eating a brownie and drinking a Coke for breakfast, sitting at the computer all day, not taking any time to have any fun because you’re so busy working on your kids’ needs, and making sure everyone is else is happy (or at least not murdering someone) takes its toll.  I look at pictures of myself from 4.5 years ago and look at myself in the mirror now, and the difference is dramatic.  I look at least 10 years older than I did in 2007.  I do not intend to look another 10 years older in 2016.  I just won’t have it.

 

I am far from where I want to be, but I am well on my way to a journey back to myself.  I doubt seriously I’ll ever wear a size 6 (I’d be ecstatic if I ever got down to a 12), but, as of my doctor’s appointment this morning, I really do weigh less than my driver’s license says I do.  (Yes, I lied when I renewed it.  If you’re a woman who hasn’t lied about her weight on an official document, well then I guess you’re just . . . what-ever.)  I am also making some other changes.  I’ve picked up my guitar again.  Maybe I’ll do it enough times that I’ll get calluses on my finger tips and it won’t hurt to play.  I’ve done some crafts and tried my hand at some art.  I have newly awakened ambitions to reorganize my house.  Ambition is a start!  I had no ambition to even stay organized, or get reorganized, since our adoption in 2007.  Heck, it took me 4.5 years to register my kids for a state-issued birth certificate.  I’ve also cut way back on the sugar I allow into my body.  I didn’t really want to, but I knew I had to.  I don’t want to keep aging so quickly.  So, I’m coming back to me.  I think it’s going to be an improved me.  I certainly hope I’m a wiser me.

If you’re stuck in the muck, MAKE YOURSELF take time to remember WHO YOU ARE.  DO SOMETHING that helps you get back to you.  Do it in baby steps.  Just choose one thing to start.  Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself.  (When I do that to myself, I just feel like a big, fat failure.)  You will be amazed at how much better you feel when you grab hold of what makes you - YOU.