Trauma Mama Movie Review: The Hunger Games

Honestly, I have no desire to see this movie, nor will I allow my two youngest kids to see it.  I don't care if "everyone is seeing it."  I've never been one to care too much about what "everyone" is doing.  Frankly, I do not understand why any Christian parent would think this was an okay movie.  Call me rigid (I'm not - but I care about what my kids see).  That said, I cannot give my own review of the The Hunger Games.

What I can do is encourage parents, especially parents of traumatized/attachment disordered kids, to THINK.  Use the tools we teach our kids:  Stop.  Think.  Breathe.  And then respond.  I'm not saying you're a bad parent if this movie is okay for you and your family.  I'm just saying I don't understand it.  And I always promised to be honest and real on this blog.  So, there you go.  Do you have a child who suffered neglect?  One who didn't have enough food to eat?  What about one who was abused?  Taken advantage of by adults?  Used in some sick way for an adult's entertainment?  Then ask yourself if the good of the artistry outweighs the triggers of the themes and make your decision from there.

Here is a link to Christianity Today's review of the movie:  The Hunger Games.
MPAA rating: PG-13(for intense violent thematic material and disturbing images, all involving teens)
Genre: Action, Drama
Theater release:
March 23, 2012
by Lionsgate
Directed by: Gary Ross
Runtime: 2 hours 22 minutes
Cast: Jennifer Lawrence (Katniss Everdeen), Josh Hutcherson (Peeta Mellark), Stanley Tucci (Caesar Flickerman), Woody Harrelson (Haymitch Abernathy), Donald Sutherland (President Snow), Wes Bentley (Seneca Crane), Liam Hemsworth (Gale Hawthorne)

Dear Teacher: About the movies you show in class

On the way to school this morning, my daughter announced to me that you were showing the movie, “Elf” in class this week.  Dear teacher, this movie is highly inappropriate for the adopted/foster children in your classroom.  It is also inappropriate for these children’s classmates, as it often adds fuel to the fire for kids to be cruel to one another.  “Elf,” along with movies such as “Despicable Me,” “Tangled,” and even “Annie,” give poor portrayals of adoption, adoptive families, and children who entered their family by adoption.  They show ridiculous scenes of abandonment, child stealing, and abuse.  They nearly always portray the adoptive parent as “evil.” 

These movies are disturbing for many adopted kids to watch even in a place they feel most safe, such as in their own home with their parents’ guidance.  They are especially disturbing in the atmosphere of the classroom, where movies are shown most often as a “reward” for the students, and a break for the teacher.  These periods are usually much less structured than a regular classroom period.  Teachers are not aware of students’ emotional distress.  Yet, fellow students, aware of a child’s status of “being adopted,” are often inspired to engage in escalated cruelty and teasing toward the adopted child outside the classroom.  Please remember, dear teacher:  middle school is its own hell for a lot of your students.  Heaping on trauma triggers, even unintentionally, makes it no easier.

Occasionally, you will encounter a parent who works hard to educate educators about such things.  At first, these parents are often seen as good resources to teachers.  They are helpful.  They have a lot of information, and they can remind you of things you already know, but don’t think of that often.  Some of them even do some of your work for you.  At first, you are quite thankful for them.  Later, when you forget about trauma triggers, and you’ve hurt a child, these same parents may seem more adversarial to you than helpful.  You may be tempted to resent them.  However, please don’t receive them that way. 

If you are a parent, remember how important it is to protect your child.  Help them protect their child and assist in their hurt child’s healing.  If you’re not a parent, remember why you went into teaching in the first place.  You wanted to help kids. 

Accept a good parent’s correction.  They are much more likely to see you as a partner in helping their child become the best they can be when you remain open to learning.  The best teachers are continually learning, just as the best parents are continually learning.  Don’t get defensive.  Think about what this parent is saying and respond appropriately.  If you’ve started showing a movie that shouldn’t be shown, stop.  You allow “do overs” for your students.  Allow do overs for yourself, as well.  And remember: You’re always saying you wished more parents were involved?  When you meet one who is, be happy.  You have your wish!

Sincerely,

Your student’s parent

Puss in Boots - Movie Review

A lot of trauma mamas are cautious about the movies we let our kids see.  We know keeping our kids’ worlds small, and not allowing everything other families might be able to experience without a problem, helps us keep a reign on certain trauma triggers – things that trigger our kids and cause them pain.  There are other blogs out there where trauma mamas can find reviews of movies written specifically for those of us raising hurt kids.  One of my favorites is Gold to Refine.  You’ll find links to Diana’s  movie reviews on the side column of her blog.  Now that I have my own blog, I thought I’d write a movie review from time to time, too.  Our family does not go to movies often, but when we do, I’ll let you know what I think.  For now, let me tell you about Puss in Boots.  (Warning:  if you don’t want any spoilers, read no further.  However, as a trauma mama, you may appreciate a spoiler or two if it helps you help your kids.)

We saw Puss in Boots in 3D this afternoon.  My hubby and I took our two younger kids, as well as one of our older boys (who has a mild form of Asperger Syndrome).  All five of us enjoyed the movie.  It was funny, and there were plenty of mild zingers for the adults in the crowd.  There was no cursing, though there were a few off-color references – much that would go over most kids’ heads.  The movie is filled with plenty of action and its theme is “good overcomes evil.”  All good stuff.

The thing trauma mamas might consider, however, is that Puss and his childhood friend, Humpty Alexander Dumpty, are orphans.  The boys are raised in a Mexican orphanage where they are bullied by the likes of Little Boy Blue.  They have a kind and loving “mama” who runs the orphanage, however.  She grows to love Puss as her son, even calling him, “my boy” a few times in the movie.  Puss and Humpty emotionally wrestle a lot with their past.  Humpty is especially affected by it and makes many poor choices throughout the movie.  In the end, he makes a decision for the greater good, but gives his life to do so.  Humpty dies by falling off a cliff and being cracked open.  Inside, we see he is a golden egg.  Puss comments he always knew Humpty was a “good egg” inside.  This golden egg ends up being taken up into the heavens by the Goose – you know, the one that lays the golden eggs.

All three of my kids did just fine with the movie for the most part.  Remember, they are older.  My daughter is 13 and my youngest son is 16.  I asked them if the boys being orphans and being in an orphanage made them feel funny at all.  My daughter said no, and I believe her.  She’s a positive person and is not a deep thinker about hard things.  My son looked at me like I was crazy (but this is not unusual – he looks at me like I’m crazy as a matter of course) and also said no – with extra emphasis (“NO-ah!), and a deep Eastern European accent – which is especially exaggerated when he is stressed.  So, while he did fine for the most part, I know the orphan theme bothered him.  He said he liked the movie and he thought it was funny.  My Asperger young man (22) was stimulated by the action scenes – he always is.  He tends to chew his hands when this happens.  So if you have an Aspie, be aware that the action scenes cause excitement like most action and adventure movies do for Aspies.

I’m not sure why SO many movies seem to center around characters with tough backgrounds.  I guess it makes the character more interesting.  As your hurt kids get older, it’s hard to keep all the parameters around their worlds that you once did.  You can’t shield them from all the violent movies, or all the movies with themes that make them crazy.  You can teach them (or try to teach them) to be discerning – to consider whether or a not a movie is a good thing for them to watch, or whether the content of a movie is worth their time.  After all, there’s a lot of JUNK out there!  And if you happen to stumble on one that’s not good for you, it is OKAY to teach them it is perfectly fine to walk out of a movie (or turn off the TV).

That said, I don’t think Puss in Boots is junk.  Far from it.  It is fun and it is funny.  But for some kids with orphanage backgrounds and traumatic pasts, it may not be a movie to see.