Isolation

Parenting hurt kids can be really, really hard sometimes.  It can also be very isolating.  I sometimes get criticized for being such an open book.  My brother teases me (good heartedly) that I should open up and tell people how I really feel.  I do not remember a time in my life when I was any different.  Sometimes it gets me in trouble and sometimes people don’t like my “openness.”  On the other hand, I am amazed at the number of times a total stranger has trusted me with their deepest hurts.  Maybe being open is one of my greatest weaknesses as well as one of my greatest strengths.  If I happen to come to love you, I will love you deeply.  I am so blessed to have had that love returned, too.

If you ever feel like you just don’t “fit in,” know you’re not alone.  You're not isolated.  I’ve felt that a lot – and for a long time.  However, feelings aren't always what is true.  

This morning, I cried out to the LORD and said, “I need you to come to me with skin on.  God, I need an angel.”  He sent me a couple of little angels to hold today -- very special kids -- loved, redeemed, adopted.  I had a wonderful visit with their mom – a godly woman -- a real woman.  God sent me himself through her  -- God with skin on.  

Things are HARD right now. 

My friend listened to me.  I listened to her.  It was a two-way connection.  We were giving as well as receiving from one another.  Such a blessing.

My friend is the mom of ten kids.  Five were adopted.  Some have very significant special needs.  She is quite a bit younger than I, yet she is wise beyond her years, and she has taught me much.  We met six or seven years ago, while we were both in the beginning pursuit of adoption.  She is a gift.  I do not get to see her as often as I’d like. 

I am so blessed to have friends close by, and close by enough, who walk in similar shoes as I.  Parenting hurt kids is often not easy.  Yes, it is rewarding.  No, I would not trade it for the world.  Yet, I still feel alone and isolated too often for my liking.  Still, I am blessed to have friends both online and nearby who are there for me, and love me, despite my many faults.  Thank you, friends.  I am not unaware of the gift you are to me.